I don’t even have the where-with-all to think of a good title (meeting the family, perhaps?)

This past Saturday night, BoyRoommateFriend met the family. (Why, that's a premise you could shape a Ben Stiller movie around!) My family has a remarkable way of dealing with new significant others. Mum, in particular, has a knack for staging these so-called Events. When she can't lure you into the trap of an alleged birthday … Continue reading I don’t even have the where-with-all to think of a good title (meeting the family, perhaps?)

For Christmas one year I got a Jem doll and middle-class guilt

This is the story of How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate Class Differences. I'm pretty sure most of why I grew up to appreciate Marx is encapsulated in this tiny little nugget of childhood. This is the second time I've had to write this post (as I've already grumbled about). Whenever such a … Continue reading For Christmas one year I got a Jem doll and middle-class guilt

A Hatred of Clubbing that Transcends Generations

[liberally adapted from reality] The house was silent save for the flickering of some distant infomercial blasting through the two am airwaves: a direct transmission of nothingness from the autocorrected perfection of the studio right into Dad's vacant, tired eyes. He heard me stagger in, heels clicking away across the linoleum. Each clacking step came … Continue reading A Hatred of Clubbing that Transcends Generations

The Five-Pound Chocolate Bar, or, Why I Can’t Save Chocolate

Is it just me or are they stuffing fewer and fewer chocolate-covered almonds into those door-to-door peddled boxes these days? Perhaps I am just siphoning nostalgia back from the days when we sold actual chocolate bars. I was at my parents' house the other day when I heard a rapping, rapping at the chamber door. … Continue reading The Five-Pound Chocolate Bar, or, Why I Can’t Save Chocolate

This Week in Triage

  Triage [tree-ahzh] the principle or practice of sorting emergency patients and/or casualties in battle or disaster into categories of priority for treatment* I drive (or perhaps... drove) a 2002 Cavalier. I say he is lovingly monikered Ernie because of my desire not to ascribe to gendered naming conventions, but really it's because his first license … Continue reading This Week in Triage

The Traumatizing Reason Why I Hate Playing Monopoly

To quote my mother: "Monopoly tears families apart." This is fact. Yet still, Sunday night witnessed a rebirth of the Rajala Family Game Night. We used to do this often as kids, perch ourselves around the kitchen table and play a good old family game. The fun was renowned, the fights... more so. What could … Continue reading The Traumatizing Reason Why I Hate Playing Monopoly

Why I own a pair of High School Musical socks

Because occasionally something seems like a good idea at the time... In 2008, my sister, Bri, and I were backpacking around Europe. We were in the town of Maastricht when, like most stinky travellers, we found that our backpacks were nothing more than cesspools of filthy clothing desperately in need of a good detergent-ridden throw-down. … Continue reading Why I own a pair of High School Musical socks

Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny – effing – Kaye

So tomorrow, I'm taking the day off work. Huzzah. It was originally intended to be a day to get through all those pesky starting-at-a-new-school things out of the way, like getting a student card, and all that, but once that was taken care of, it's degenerated into a shopping trip downtown with my sister. I'm … Continue reading Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny – effing – Kaye

Uber-epic-osity: John Hughes-style plans for a comedy-rich hypothetical wedding

This month has been quite the maelstrom of epicness. Well, not in regards to my life, but in regards to those around me. Of the people I know, more have come out of this month married than divorced, so that's always nice. In addition to the newly crowned Darcie Adkins, nee Vaillant, Caitlyn LePard, one of my dearest … Continue reading Uber-epic-osity: John Hughes-style plans for a comedy-rich hypothetical wedding

Tea with my sister: fangirls over fanboys, twilight, and something about a half-assed prince?

So I just spent twenty minutes talking on the phone with my sister. I love having a sister, and having Bri as my sister is especially nice. We can talk about any, any, ANY sort of shit. My mind is very 'in the moment' right now, which is to say the closest I come to … Continue reading Tea with my sister: fangirls over fanboys, twilight, and something about a half-assed prince?