I’ve finally done it. I’ve taken the RPG plunge.

In a way, it feels as if this has always been inevitable. I’ve been curious about playing D&D for a long time now; it’s been like this glowing ball of light off in the distance that I’ve only been able to catch glimpses of here and there. It started with scorn, then apathy, then curiosity, then interest, then regret – why had I waited so long?

Friends of mine played D&D in university and I used to tease them about the way a conversation would suddenly become peppered with anecdotes like, “Remember that time you were unconscious for three days and we had to carry you over the mountain into the next village? The tavern wenches were really worried about you.”

I know I was interested then, but it was easier to tease rather than engage. I was never invited to play with them; maybe they would have if I had been more sincerely interested. But the reality was, they were all guys and I was a girl. D&D was a guy thing.

It didn’t have to be expressed so explicitly (few things did*), but I knew implicitly, that this was for them. Not me.

D&D became one of those things that I thus just accepted would never be in my life. It lay behind one of those doors that simple closed as I aged. I’d closed the door and carried down the corridor. The hallway of life moves in one direction.

Or does it?

Before Christmas, Jason reached out. Him and Joe wanted to get a Pathfinder game and would Husband and I be interested in joining.

I did not need to be asked twice.

I approached Husband and framed it nicely, thinking, “If he’s not into it, I’m still playing. IDGAF.”

But, as it turns out, he’s always been interested too and just never had anyone to break that RPG seal with.

So here we are. The first session gone.

I went into our Session 0 all excited about the rogue I was going to play. Or maybe a sorcerer.

Jason and Joe, who were there every step of QLP, both blinked at me. “Uh,” said Jason, “We totally assumed you were going to be a bard.”

Well fuck.

Yes, I am now a bard. A half-elf bard named Petra Vannara who I already love with all my freaking heart.

Alas, it was always meant to be this way.

*It never needs to be stated, you just know. That’s something for the boys. If you ever try to test the unspoken rule, that rule gets spoken. And pretty damned loudly.

Also in university, this same group of guys who played D&D used to go camping a lot. They were all my friends and I had fun hanging out with them; the way they talked about their camping trips was legendary. I asked them once if I could come with them and one of them – Jon – replied, quite abruptly (as was his way): “CAMPING IS GUYS ONLY.”

When I protested, I got the usual excuse: “If we let you come, we’d have to let all the girls come.”

Apparently, one of the guys has a girlfriend who made camping a miserable experience for everyone and they really didn’t want her to come along.