There’s an interesting pattern of behaviour that has established itself amongst Lower Commune residents.

It seems to start like this:

Subject A arrives home following a bad day at work.

A bad mood is inevitable.

Occasionally this bad mood is compounded by a) Mondays, b) other monthly occurrences, c) personal baggage, d) nasty surprises, or e) all of the above*

Subject A’s bad mood is characterized by such symptoms as a furrowed brow, lack of reapplication of makeup or other negligence of personal hygiene, donning of pyjama pants within five minutes of reentering house, and, especially the frequent emission of a noise best likened to the intolerable drone of a dozen lazy hornets (henceforth “bitching“).

Subject A usually engages in this behaviour at some length, while Subject B nods politely but basically (and wisely) ignores Subject A.

It seems to end like this:

Subject B, unable to tolerate the bitching any longer, says these words: “Do you want a beer?”

Subject A always replies with “Yes, please. Thank god.”

And the Lower Commune is in harmony once more.

*i.e. Today.