Following the abrasively shocking revelations of last Sunday’s hair dye debacle, Dr. Roommate and I endeavoured to act like real grown-ups this weekend.

As Sunday night closed in, the adventure was deemed “successful,” as though we might be able to tick off a small box on a to-do list.

“Grow-up.” Check.*

We both had work ahead of us: Dr. Roommate studying to do things like curing hideous diseases and solving the never-ending mysteries of the human brain; me to write my quota of 8000 words about space pirates. There is no room for social lives with tasks as mighty as these.

The living room was refashioned into a den of ADULTHOOD: stacks of books, desk lamps, laptops surrounding us! Making us feel Important!

The jigsaw puzzle remained on the kitchen table, but, come on, small victories.

This is how it broke down:

Adult Point Tally, Saturday:

Waking before 10 am: +1

In bed well after 2 am: -1

Dinner of sushi, not Subway: +1

Wearing sweat pants all day: -1

Bathing after noon: -1

Bathing before dark: +1

Watching Inception just for the man-candy: … this was going to be a minus, but come on… that’s amazing man-candy. It knows no maturity level.

Completing writing quota for the entire weekend (all 8000 words): +5

Writing about space pirates: -4

Watched all five hours of BBC version of Pride and Prejudice as background movie: nil**

Adult Point Tally, Sunday:

Up after 10 am: -1

Wore real pants for more than four hours: +1

Bathed after noon: -1

But waited until after I went for a run with Dr. Roommate, so yeah, bonus points for exercise: +2

It was sunny: +1

Left life-affirming voice-memo to self, “Sunshine and exercise are your friends”: +1

Switched from coffee before I got the caffeine jitters: +1

It was Coke that I switched to: -1

But Coke Zero!: +1

Still not watching Ghost World so I can give it back to person I borrowed it from over a week ago: -1

Did a pre-emptive load of laundry, out of responsibility, not necessity: +1

It’s still sitting in the washing machine: -1

Did all the grocery shopping, which was mostly fruits and vegetables: +1

And nothing from a can or jar: +1

Made dinner… from a jar: -1

Also, grilled cheese for lunch: -1

Read a whole Archie comic just for fun: -1

Watched RocknRolla for the man-candy: -1

Wrote another 5000 words past my previously set quota: +4

Still about space pirates: -3

Celebrated the fact that the noisy upstairs neighbours and their loud children have vacated the premises: nil**

Total: +3

That’s three more victory points to add to my never-ending quest to become a grown-up. Not bad. I think I deserve an A for effort. I really tried. It was hard.

*I realize it is not that easy, and I will be back to eating grilled cheese off paper plates shaped like zoo animals soon enough.

**not really factored in, but worthy of mention.


Monday: Back at zero after having a dinner composed of watermelon and Cheerios.